The Marauders Chat Room
by misstress black
Summary: what happens when you mix the Marauders and the golden trio on the internet a few OC's some sex talk


The Marauders Chat Room.

* * *

Chapter 1 The Game Begins

Act 1 The Marauders

Padfootwalking: Hey Prongs, Moony. Guess what.

Struttingprongs: What Padfoot.

Padfootwalking: I have Lynn's E-mail address and I know for a fact she has Lily's. So how about I invite her here and have her invite Lily.

Struttingprongs: Then invite her Padfoot but we have to use our real names so to not give our self's away as the Marauders.

Wolfiemoony: He's right you know Sirius.

Padfootwalking: Hey our nicknames are in our E-mails.

Struttingprongs: Who cares invite them now.

Padfootwalking: Okay brb.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT Padfootwalking HAS LEFT THE ROOM.

Padfootwalking: Hey Lynn do you and Lily want to come and talk to me and Remus and James.

Mclainprincess: Well it's all right with me but it's up to Lily.

Tigerlily: Well alright but if Potter asks me out one time bye.

Padfootwalking: Okay wait I'll invite you into our Chat Room.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT Padfootwalking, Mclainprincess, and Tigerlily HAS

ENTERED THE ROOM

Padfootwalking: Well did it work is everyone here?

Struttingprongs: I'm here.

Wolfiemoony: So am I.

Mclainprincess: Me to.

Tigerlily: I don't want to be here, but I am.

Padfootwalking: Okay so it worked. So what do we talk about?

Wolfiemoony: How about the homework Professor McGonagall gave us?

Struttingprongs: NO!! Nothing about school.

Tigerlily: Hey Remus do you even get the stuff she told us to write because I don't.

Wolfiemoony: Well no actually. That's why I'm asking everyone here.

Mclainprincess: Well it's easy isn't it? I mean all she want's us to do is tell us in essay form to compare both rats in their transforming from the pictures she gave us.

Tigerlily: Maybe I should have came to you when I first needed help.

Padfootwalking: Why are we talking about school we got all summer before we get back to school. How about we play a game?

Tigerlily: A game come on Black what game do you want to play?Mclainprincess: How about we play either 20 questions or truth or dare.

Padfootwalking: 20 questions 20 questions 20 questions 20 questions!!

Struttingprongs: Well we got our answer. So who wants to start.

Padfootwalking: Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, Me!!

Struttingprongs: Then go ahead.

Padfootwalking: Okay favorite food and color and if you had to marry anyone in the world who would it be?Struttingprongs: Food, Mac and cheese. Color, red. Marry anyone I want would be Lily.

Tigerlily: I should leave right now but I'm not anyway. Food, Spaghetti and meatballs with oregano. Color, blue. Marry anyone I want, well just to get this strait Potter I'd rather marry Severus then you.

Mclainprincess: Ouch. Well Food, tacos. Color, green. Marry anyone I want would be, … Sirius.

Padfootwalking : Ahh thank you Lynn. Well for me I'd guess it be. Food, Steak. Color, green. Marrying Lynn.

Wolfiemoony: Food, chocolate. Color, blue. Marry anyone I want, no one.

Padfootwalking: Ouch Remus you have to be so cold.

Wolfiemoony: Yes I do. With my well you know condition.

Tigerlily: Remus if your talking about your Lycanthropy it's okay I know about it.

Wolfiemoony: Wh-wh-what how??

Mclainprincess: Because anyone with half a brain could figure that you where a Werewolf because of your going "Home" to stay with your sick mother. Snape going in the womphing willow and almost getting killed, and the ever so popular getting sick around the full moon.

Tigerlily: Duh Remus and don't worry your secret is safe with me

Struttingprongs: It better be or we'll sic him on you that next full moon.

Tigerlily: Hey I've kept it so far … and besides you wouldn't do any such thing you want me to much.

Padfootwalking: Damn strait my brother and I couldn't do that to my dearest Lynn anyway.

Struttingprongs: Fine everyone is against me how about you Remus are you with me or no?

Wolfiemoony: Sorry James but no I don't want to hurt them maybe curse them when I get back to normal but I would not want to hurt them as a werewolf.

Mclainprincess: how about we play another game Truth or Dare, or Hangman anyone?

Tigerlily: How about Truth or Dare. But I start.

Mclainprincess: Okay Lily you may start.

Tigerlily: Lynn Truth or Dare?

Mclainprincess: Dare.

Tigerlily: Next time we're at school I want you to go and kiss all the Marauders and then go out on a 4way date with all of them.

Mclainprincess: No way maybe for Sirius but not a snowballs chance in hell with Peter and James and no offense Remus.

Wolfiemoony: How do you know we're the Marauders Lynn?

Mclainprincess: Trust me you don't want to know.

Wolfiemoony: Your not going to tell us are you?

Mclainprincess: Nope. Anyway my turn now. Lily truth or dare

Tigerlily: umm … dare?? Please don't say anything that's against my morals

Struttingprongs: Girl everything is against you morals.

Padfootwalking: Ditto on that my brother.

Mclainprincess: I want you to e-mail Severus and tell him that your madly in love with him. His e-mail address is Snapieboy.

Tigerlily: What!!

Struttingprongs: What!!

* * *

Chapter 2 The Fights

Tigerlily: Fine but you seriously owe me Lynn.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Tigerlily HAS LEFT THE ROOM

Tigerlily: Severus I love you so much I really need to speak with you please e-mail me at or if you cannot get me go to I will be there waiting to hear from you with love Lily.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Tigerlily HAS ENTERED THE ROOM

Tigerlily: I did it now it's my turn Remus truth or dare?

Wolfiemoony: Umm … dare I think.

Tigerlily: Shouldn't have done that Remus I'm venting my anger now.

Wolfiemoony: Oh Shit Help!

Tigerlily: I dare you on the first day back to go up to Lynn or Alice or McGonagall and give them a big fat kiss.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Snapieboy HAS ENTERED THE ROOM

Snapieboy: Umm Lily can I speak with you about this e-mail.

Wolfiemoony: SHIT NO WAY IN HELL AM I DOING THAT Lily. FIRST OF ALL Lynn IS Sirius's. SECOND OF ALL Alice IS Frank's. AND LAST OF ALL McGonagall IS TO GODDAMNED OLD FOR ME SHE'S 90 SOMETHING I'M ONLY 17. SO NO FLYING RATS ASS IN MOTHERFUCKING HELL AM I DOING THAT Lily.

Struttingprongs: Don't say them bad words in front of the ladies Remus and in front of potential prey.

Snapieboy: Potter. Lily I'd thought we'd be alone. And defiantly not in front of Potter even if there was other people.

Struttingprongs: What do you mean by that Snivellus. And just so you know Sirius is here to so watch your step.

Snapieboy: And you yours Potter.

Struttingprongs: AND JUST WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

Snapieboy: It means Black is not going to be there forever Coward always fighting 4-1.

Struttingprongs: I AM NOT A COWARD!!

Padfootwalking: HE IS NOT A COWARD SNIVELLUS. YOU ARE!!

Snapieboy: Cowards don't fight unless it's more of them against the opponent COWARDS.

Tigerlily: Now see here Severus, Potter, Black stop fighting right now.

Struttingprongs: STAY OUT OF THIS Lily.

Padfootwalking: STAY OUT OF THIS OR Lynn IS GOING TO KILL US IF WE SAY BAD STUFF TO YOU, WELL AT LEST ME.

Wolfiemoony: Severus let me just tell you this I never fight you and Peter just watches. So unless you can't count 1+12 not 1+14.

Snapieboy: I CAN VERY WELL COUNT THANK YOU.

Tigerlily: STOP THIS RIGHT NOW BOYS, Lynn HELP ME NOW. YOU JUST HAD TO DO THIS DIDN'T U?

Padfootwalking: Sorry at Sirius's and he's kissing me so I can't do a thing sorry.

Tigerlily: Lynn THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT SO HELP ME. NOW EVERYONE STOP FIGHTING NOWWWW!!

Padfootwalking: Yes madam Evans army salute

Lynn giggles and kisses him

Wolfiemoony: Okay Lily sorry hangs head in shame

Struttingprongs: Okay I will if he will

Snapieboy: Okay just don't yell anymore you'll break the computer.

Padfootwalking: He's right Lily don't break the computer then I won't be able to talk to u until u get it fixed. Oh and sorrrrr.

Tigerlily: What Lynn?Padfootwalking: I got her busy now leave us alone.

Wolfiemoony: How'd she get over there anyway Sirius doesn't she live near Birmingham and you live in London?

Padfootwalking: You don't want to know Remus.

I Quintessence'd my way over here now leave us alone.

Tigerlily: What's Quintessence? Anyone?

Wolfiemoony: The dictionary says Quintessence is the fifth element or a power force that spreads and counteracts gravity and space and time.

Tigerlily: Oh Lynn is the fifth element?

Wolfiemoony: No I don't think so.

The MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Regseek4life HAS ENTERED THE ROOM

Regseek4life: Just what is my brother doing to that Lynn girl?? Eww disgusting

Snapieboy: Hey Regulus.

Regseek4life: Hey Severus. Eww stop it Sirius.

Tigerlily: Just what are they doing?

Regseek4life: Wait who is this? Is this Lily from Gryffindor. Eww somebody stop them!

Tigerlily: Just what are they doing?

Regseek4life: Snogging. Eww make them tell you the rest. He's across the hall from me and he has the door open he is so lucky mum and dad left 5 minutes ago. Please someone tell them to get a room. Wait tell them to close the door please and hurry!!

Tigerlily: Lynn stop it now or I'm coming over there.

Padfootwalking: I thought we told you to leave us alone and bro I'm doing this for my pleasure and your discomfort.

Regseek4life: Eww stop it. Kreacher stop him just don't kill him.

Tigerlily: Potter stop him now.

Struttingprongs: And what do I get out of it?

Tigerlily: Your so lucky I don't want Lynn getting HIV or AIDS. One date Potter and that's it and no kiss after.

Struttingprongs: No kiss no deal

Tigerlily: Sorry Lynn but your going to have to get HIV or AIDS.

Regseek4life: Give him the kiss or Sirius and that Girl are going to be dead from Kreacher by accident. Please!! I don't want my brother dead nor Lynn now stop them. Please!!

Tigerlily: Is that a threat?

Regseek4life: No Kreacher doesn't know his own strength.

Padfootwalking: Kreacher couldn't hurt a fly let alone Sirius now leave us alone.

Regseek4life: Help!!

Tigerlily: Uh fine Potter one kiss but no snogging me.

Struttingprongs: Victory dance

Tigerlily: It's one date.

Struttingprongs: Who cares anyway. Sirius stop snogging the poor girl, give her a break, and come back and talk to us.

Padfootwalking: You got five minutes. That's it.

Struttingprongs: Thank you now if you'll excuse me I got a date to plan.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Struttingprongs HAS LEFT THE ROOM.

Tigerlily: KILL ME SOMEONE PLEASE. MERLIN HATES ME. IT'S ONE FUCKING DATE NOT A FUCKING BALL.

Padfootwalking: That's what you get Lily you should have known that Potter would have done that.

Tigerlily: Do you think it's to late to tell him I changed my mind?

Wolfiemoony: Knowing him he's already ordered the Hogs Head Bartender to make the reservations so no it's to late.

Tigerlily: Fuck help me please.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Struttingprongs HAS ENTERED THE ROOM

Struttingprongs: Okay I set it up on the first Hogsmead trip we go on we will go to the Hogs Head.

Wolfiemoony: Told you

Struttingprongs: Told them what Remus?

Wolfiemoony: That you would set up the date at the Hogs Head.

Padfootwalking: Five minutes are up watch and learn what you'll never do Reg.

Tigerlily: Lynn stop it.

Padfootwalking: Don't want to sorry.

Tigerlily: Potter stop them, or tell me where he lives.

Struttingprongs: Gonna cost ya.

Tigerlily: Cost me what?

Struttingprongs: Your pride. I want you to stop calling me Potter and start calling me James for starters and that's for where he lives. I want another date and goodnight kiss, for me to stop them.

Tigerlily: Do this for Lynn, Do this for Lynn. UH Nooo … Fine yes deal James. Oh it pains me so.

Struttingprongs: Okay well it's a start. Anyway Sirius stop torturing us by not talking to us with your grace.

Padfootwalking: Did you hear something Lynn? No unless you heard someone admiring you grace at long last and is only asking for you to stop snogging me and start talking to them? Do you want to stop Lynn? Nope. Good.

Tigerlily: If they don't stop I don't date and tell me where he lives Ja-ja-ja-jam-james.

Struttingprongs: Please your royal Highness and my Queen please shower us in your grace by talking to us lowly peasants. And he lives at 12 Grimmwauld Place.

Snapieboy: I am not a peasant.

Tigerlily: Quiet if you don't want Regulus tortured.

Snapieboy: Fine.

Padfootwalking: Oh they called us the royal highness and queen let us shower them with our grace my loyal wife Miss Queen Lynn. Yes lets. Hey Lily. Who would have thought that Blacks where such great kissers I wonder what Regulus kiss's like.

Regseek4life: And that's how it's going to stay you wondering.

Padfootwalking: Better be like that. Oh come now dear only wanted to stir him up a bit. Okay Lynn but I better not catch you 2 snogging. I don't want to snog anyone but you Sirius. Good.

Snapieboy: Is everyone paired up Lynn, Black. Lily, and Potter.

Tigerlily: I am not paired up with Ja-ja-ja-jam-james. Severus just have to go out on 2 dates with him because of a friend snogging someone and about to have sex with him right in front of his little brother.

Padfootwalking: Got that strait Lily. Sirius don't tell them what we where doing.

Tigerlily: So the truth finally comes out.

Struttingprongs: Eww Sirius stop don't tell me anymore.

Padfootwalking: Please we all know you want to do it to Lily or was your diary wrong because I'm pretty sure that it was in your handwriting.

Struttingprongs: I have a journal not a diary. And I never said I wanted to have sex with her but I want to snog her, now don't say a word. About her or me.

Padfootwalking: Yeah lets explore the love life of Remus or his lack of.

Struttingprongs: Yes lets. Now why do you suppose he doesn't have a girl friend.

Padfootwalking: I do not know how about we ask him. Remus why don't you have a girlfriend?

Wolfiemoony: Because I don't want to hurt her if I ever had one and she figured out what I am, and left me it would hurt me and if I hurt her more even if she did accept me I would never forgive my self.

Tigerlily: Oh Remus. Hey guys lets get him a girl friend.

Wolfiemoony: Oh shit.

Padfootwalking: Alice? No honey she's got Frank.

Struttingprongs: How about your cousin's daughter Nymphadora am I correct?

Padfootwalking: Yeah but she's 6 he's 17.

Struttingprongs: Damn.

Padfootwalking: Yeah.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT Aliceatlarge, and Frankielongtail HAS ENTERED THE ROOM

Aliceatlarge: Hey ya'll

Frankielongtail: Sorry to bother you but Hey what you talking about.

* * *

Chapter 3 Snape likes

Aliceatlarge: Hey ya'll

Frankielongtail: Sorry to bother you but Hey what you talking about.

Padfootwalking: Alice how are you? Hey Frank how's Beater practice.

Struttingprongs: Hey now things are going to get intersesting hehe.

Tigerlily: Hey Alice we have to find Remus a girlfriend do you know anyone. Hey Frank same question. So how are you guys.

Wolfiemoony: Hey Alice, Frank don't give them any girls names I don't want a girl friend

Regseek4life: Hey I know a girl.

Snapieboy: Who Regulus.

Aliceatlarge: Is Lynn here?

Padfootwalking: Yes I'm here with Sirius. We would be having sex in frount of my little brother right now if not for Lily and James.

Aliceatlarge: Didn't need to know that Sirius. Anyway I'm fine. Nope their all taken.

Frankielongtail: Anyway my Beater practice is doing well. Same here.

Regseek4life: Bellatrix Black our cousin bit crazy but otherwise fine. She just broke up with me, Severus, Sebastian, and Rodophulus, just 2 weeks ago. And a tad bit obsessed with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named but otherwise very loveable.

Snapieboy: She's crazy she doesn't care if she was bitten by a werewolf or not … I see where your going with this my friend. And I broke up with her and so did Sebastian. She broke up with you and Rodophulus. Okay? Okay.

Regseek4life: Be quiet Severus. And besides you don't want me telling everyone here who you like.

Padfootwalking: Who does he like? Tell me or else. Oh and the else part is me tieing you in a chair in my room with the computer near enoph to type and make you watch me and Lynn have sex.

Regseek4life: Nope I'd rather see you 2 have sex then to betray Severus.

Padfootwalking: Okay give me a minute everyone. Great he went to get Reg. He's tying him up.

Regseek4life: HELP MEEEEEE !!

Padfootwalking: Now I will give you one more chance little bro who does he like.

Regseek4life: Sorry Severus but …

Snapieboy: Don't you dare!

Regseek4life: … He likes …

* * *

Chapter 4 A Big Mistake

Regseek4life: … He likes …

Snapieboy: You tell and I'll never forgive you.

Tigerlily: Hurry up we're all growing old here.

Regseek4life: Lynn. Happy now Sirius. He likes your Girlfriend.

Padfootwalking: Awkward. Uh-Oh Sirius is trying to kill him. SIRIUS STOP IT NOW.

Snapieboy: Thank god Regulus. Did you have to do that.

Regseek4life: He was going to have sex okay? I didn't want to see him like that. Thank you.

Tigerlily: You mean that he doesn't like Lynn? Then who does he really like? We should have know that what you said was a lie with you dragging it out. Now who does he really like.

Regseek4life: Do you trust me enoph to tell them Severus.

Snapieboy: I don't have a choice in this do I.

Regseek4life: No you don't. He really like's both Lynn, and Kelly her twin sister.

Snapieboy: I thought that would never get out damn. Thank Merlin

Tigerlily: Wasn't Kelly pregnate?

Padfootwalking: Yes she has a little 2 year old daughter named Sarah. He likes her. He must be crazy what with her fiancé. He's way to protective of her.

Tigerlily: Hun hey get him on the phone and tell him what happened.

Padfootwalking: Why?

Tigerlily: So I can see them fight over Kelly.

Padfootwalking: No. And that's that.

Tigerlily: Fine.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Ratiepeter HAS ENTERED THE ROOM.

Ratiepeter: Hey everyone how are ya?

Padfootwalking: Hey Remus, James! Peter is here.

Meanwhile…

Wolfiemoony: Well what do you want?

Struttingprongs: Lily like's you. Why does she like you more then me?

Wolfiemoony: Because I let her have her space, I respect her, and I don't ask her out every 5 minutes.

Struttingprongs: So your saying that it's my ego that's pushing her away? So how do I show her I really do love her and I don't want her to not not like me?

Wolfiemoony: Well during your date don't act like you normal self. Act kind when she goes to sit down pull out her chair for her, open doors before she goes through and let her go through first, be romantic but not to romantic, laugh with her, talk about HER interest not your's unless she wants to, and last of all on the good night kiss don't take it any farther then she want's. Okay?

Struttingprongs: Yes sir saluting The Brave Messer Remus John Lupin aka Moony. Oh I have a question for you how do you know all that stuff?

Wolfiemoony: My Mum and Dad taught me all the stuff a girl likes.

Struttingprongs: Come on before everyone gets worried we better get back.

Wolfiemoony: Okay.

Meanwhile …

Ratiepeter: Hey everyone how are ya?

Padfootwalking: Hey Remus, James! Peter is here.

Struttingprongs: Cool. Great to finally see ya Peter.

Wolfiemoony: Hey ya missed it Peter, James got a date with Miss Lily Evans.

Ratiepeter: Do I always miss the good stuff.

Struttingprongs: Because you always do we always make sure there are plenty of good times while your away.

Tigerlily: I should kill you for talking about me like that. But I'm not. And I don't know why either. Lynn why am I not going where ever they all live and not killing then, Alice do you have an answer.

Padfootwalking: It could be you want to go on that date with him?

Aliceatlarge: It could be me and Lynn are going to be aunts really, really soon.

Tigerlily: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. NO FUCKING WAY AM I GOING TO HAVE A KID WITH ANY OF THOSE THINGS.

Ratiepeter: I am not a thing I'm a rat.

Padfootwalking: I am a dog thank you Lily.

Wolfiemoony: I am a werewolf Lily you know a furious beast that comes out once a month at the full moon and could and would kill his best friend hardly a thing at all.

Struttingprongs: Oh so I'm a thing now. Well okay I guess that's the way it's going to be. Don't worry about those dates okay? Bye.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Struttingprongs HAS LEFT THE ROOM.

Padfootwalking: James wait!! Look what you did Lily.

Wolfiemoony: What just happened? Did James just tell Lily to forget those dates? Did he just give up on her for the last time? Lily what did you do?

Padfootwalking: Lily are you there it's me Lynn if your there say something. Please.

Tigerlily: HHHHHHHHHH

Aliceatlarge: Lily I'm sorry. Are you okay.

Tigerlily: I got to go Tuney is here to plan her wedding bye.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Tigerlily HAS LEFT THE ROOM

Padfootwalking: She's so lying right now.

Aliceatlarge: How do you know

Padfootwalking: Her sister got married 2 years ago.

Aliceatlarge: I think I ruined both of their lives. Is that good or bad.

Frankielongtail: That's bad honey.

Meanwhile …

Tigerlily: James please answer me. I'm sorry for what I said. Alice got me upset it's just that she said that she and Lynn where going to be aunts soon and I'm just not ready for kids right now. I would love to have your kids but I'm just not ready for motherhood yet. I'm sorry I called you a thing you're a cute stag, and yes I know you're an animagus and I will keep it to my grave. And just so you know I was pretending to not want to go on those dates I really wanted to and still do. It all depends on you now. With love Lily Marie Evans-Could be-Potter.

Lily sat back in her chair. "What did I do?" She asked her self. She sat there waiting for another 20 minutes. Before she got a reply.

Struttingprongs: Lily I know how you and Alice are Best friends and I know she would want to not hurt you. And she knows you yelled way to many ears off at Hogwarts because of me so she did that because of her not wanting you to yell at any more bystanders. And you said so yourself to many years ago that you would rather have the Giant Squids kids then mine so don't worry about it. And the way you acted only shows that you don't want to go on those dates and I'm not going to make you. And it never depended on me it depended on you, and you don't want it so I'm not going to make you. James Anthony Potter.

She got to the part about the Giant Squid, and couldn't bare to finish what he had wrote. She typed in And logged on.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Tigerlily HAS ENTERED THE ROOM

Tigerlily: Alice do you know what you did?

Aliceatlarge: No what did I do? I bet it is about James isn't it? Look Lily about that I'm real sorry.

Tigerlily: Yeah so am I. Just as I was starting to like him you make me go and run off at the mouth, and in the end result make James go and hate me. It took me 20 minutes to get a reply from him and the reply was bad okay? The thing I didn't want to happen happened and it hurt not only me but, James, and maybe it hurt, Sirius, Peter, Remus, and Lynn, and it's all thanks to you. And now the only thing I want to say to all of you who are probably here waiting for me to calm down, Severus, Regulus, Sirius, Peter, Remus, Frank, and Lynn, is that you better hold me back the first day back so I don't kill Alice or even hurt her for hurting me, and taking away the only person who chased after me even if I didn't want to be chased. Now when I want to be chased he won't even answer me. AND IT'S ALL YOU FAULT ALICE.

Padfootwalking: Lily calm down it's okay she and I didn't mean any harm, to you or to James. But just so you know we care and we don't want you hurt. By us or otherwise.

Meanwhile …

Snapieboy: James just so you know I don't take pride in coming here to talk to you. But it's about Lily.

Struttingprongs: I don't want to talk about her Snape.

Snapieboy: I don't either but Lily came to the chat room almost crying and yelling to Alice about you. Saying that you hate her for Alice making her say that stuff. That when she got a reply from you it wasn't good just what did you say to her? And that your response hurt her. I mean it really hurt her. If she wasn't my oldest friend I wouldn't be doing this right now be here right now, but she needs you, and you leaving and not talking to her is hurting her more then words could ever hurt her. Now go and talk to her and the next time we meet she better be on your arm and loving every second of it. But if you truly don't love her anymore don't give her false hope. Don't hurt her anymore then you already have. Okay?

Struttingprongs: Okay I get it I'll talk to her. And what do you mean you to where old friends?

Snapieboy: My dad knew her parents from church.

Struttingprongs: Okay. And Snape I may regret this someday and it hurts me to say this to a Slytherin but thanks.

Snapieboy: No problem now she's at your chat room talk to her.

Meanwhile …

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Struttingprongs HAS ENTERED THE ROOM

Struttingprongs: Lily if your there sign out and e-mail me saying your off and I'll IM you if your not someone tell her to e-mail me. WE NEED TO TALK PLEASE!!

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Struttingprongs HAS LEFT THE ROOM.

Tigerlily: Did James just write what I thought he wrote. Bye.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Tigerlily HAS LEFT THE ROOM

Tigerlily: I'm waiting.

A few seconds later an IM messenger appeared and she opened it.

Struttingprongs: Lily I'm sorry I overreacted do you forgive me?

Tigerlily: Yes I do but what made you change your mind?

Struttingprongs: A friend of yours told me what you had said to Alice and told me point blank he didn't want to see you hurt.

Tigerlily: Remus said all that? He must be stupid, you could have yelled at him saying you didn't want to be his or Sirius or Peter's friend anymore and that you didn't want to see their faces ever again.

Struttingprongs: Uh yeah. Hey Lily it's your choice and I'm not holding those previous me telling Sirius and Lynn to stop snogging, but do you still want to go on those dates with me?

Tigerlily: Yeah. I would very much like that James.

Struttingprongs: Do you want to go back to the chat room so everyone can see that we're both alive and well and that we didn't kill each other over the internet?

Tigerlily: Yeah we better do that.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT

Struttingprongs and Tigerlily HAS ENTERED THE ROOM.

Tigerlily: Just so everyone knows James and I are alive and we are going out on those dates.

Aliceatlarge: Lily are you still mad at me?

Tigerlily: I should be but I'm not.

Struttingprongs: Well I for one am not mad at you but thankful.

Aliceatlarge: Why?

Struttingprongs: Because you got Lily to like me. Hey Frank what's the next time you see Alice?

Frankielongtail: Next week why?

Struttingprongs: Give her a big hug and a kiss for me please and thank you.

Wolfiemoony: Who are you and what have you done with James?

Padfootwalking: Ditto on that My Brada. Oh I think he's lovesick over Lily. Lily why did you have to make the poor boy Lovesick over you? Oh shit James think happy thoughts don't think of her. Please James don't make me come over there.

Struttingprongs: Hey that's a good idea. Oh Lily want to come over I live not 3 blocks away and my dad can come get you.

Tigerlily: Why that's a great idea when can he be over here?

Struttingprongs: Less than 2 seconds and you'll be over here in 3.

Tigerlily: Okay I'm waiting.

Padfootwalking: Oh shit no don't go over there. Lily don't do anything stupid and if you do try to do anything stupid remember to use protection. No Lynn that's what me and you do not James as far as I know he's still a virgin, me and you are not Lynn. Be quiet Sirius before I dump you and go out with either Remus or your brother. Yes Lynn. Good boy now go and get me something to eat. Yes Lynn.

Struttingprongs: Lynn do you have to torture the poor boy? What have you done with Sirius you alienated the boy Lynn. Padfoot if you can hear me speak too me. She killed him. Lily ask her if she killed him. Did you kill him Lynn?

Padfootwalking: Great your over there Lily. And no I didn't kill Sirius. He went downstairs to get me something to eat.

Midnight: Hey who is in my daddy's old chat room?

* * *

Chapter 5 Who he really likes

Act 2 The Marauders and the Golden Trio and Tigers meet.

Midnight: I'll ask you again. Who is in my daddy's old chat room? Answer now or forever be dead.

Sunlight: Hayley don't be so mean.

Midnight: Dad said nobody's been on this chat room in at lest 20 years. I want them out. Now!!

Padfootwalking: We'll tell you who we are if you tell us who you are. I'm Lynn McLain and I'm with my boyfriend Sirius Black.

Struttingprongs: I'm Lily Evans. And I'm James Potter.

Wolfiemoony: I'm Remus Lupin.

Frankielongtail: I'm Frank Longbottom

Aliceatlarge: Hey I'm Alice Taylor.

Snapieboy: Severus Snape.

Ratiepeter: I'm Peter Pettigrew

Regseek4life: And I'm Regulus Black little brother to Sirius Black.

Padfootwalking: Now who are you?

Midnight: I'm Hayley Black.

Sunlight: I'm Kayley Black.

Moonlight: I'm Hermione Granger.

Thechosenseeker: I'm Harry Potter.

Theredhead: I'm Ron Weasley.

Midnight: The idiotic boyfriend of Hermione and my husbands brother.

Theredhead: I'm not idiotic.

Midnight: Whatever you say.

Daylight: I'm Ginny Weasley.

Georgieboy: I'm Ron's and Ginny's older handsomer brother. And Hayley's husband George Weasley.

Fredieboy: I'm George's twin brother and cuter then him too. Fred Weasley.

Evilmalfoy: And I'm Kayley's boyfriend Draco Malfoy.

Midnight: Wait a minute. Lynn McLain, Sirius Black, Lily Evans, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Frank Longbottom, Alice Taylor, Severus Snape, Peter Pettigrew, Regulus Black. Guys we're talking to our parents.

Sunlight: Then where's dad and mum Hayley.

Midnight: I think he's well as his nickname is Padfoot he's Padfootwalking. And I think Harry's dad is Struttingprongs. I think Lupin is Wolfiemoony. Wormtail is Ratiepeter. And me and Kayley's uncle Regulus is Regseek4life. Oh and Snape is Snapieboy.

Padfootwalking: Your telling me your our kids?

Midnight: Yeah that's exactly what I'm saying Padfootwalking.

Wolfiemoony: What in the hell. Are you telling me I have a kid.

Midnight: Who are you and I can tell you what you want.

Wolfiemoony: I'm Remus Lupin.

Midnight: Well you don't have a kid right now but expecting.

Wolfiemoony: What with who?

Midnight: With my cousin Nymphadora. She's about 3 months pregnant and I'm happily following at a little over 1 month.

Wolfiemoony: WHAT IN THE HELL I CANT BE A FATHER NOT IN MY STATE NO FUCKING WAY AM I GOING TO BE A FATHER. WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? I ALREADY DESIDED THAT I WOULD NOT BE A FATHER OR HAVE A WIFE. WHY IN THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO MAKE THEM OUTCASTS. AND BESIDES IF I DID HAVE A KID IT WOULD BE A WEREWOLF LIKE ME AND IF IT WASN'T A WEREWOLF THE KID WOULD BE ASHAMED OF ME. IN THE FUTURE AM I AN IDIOT BECAUSE I SURE AM ACTING LIKE IT IF I GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT? SHIT GODDAMIT IT ALL TO MOTHER-FUCKING HELL.

Midnight: Way to be supportive Remus. It's very in right now is it not. At lest my husband is not supportive like you he takes care of me. You I bet does not.

Padfootwalking: So he's does get hooked. Cool Remus at your wedding let me be best man or James.

Thechosenseeker: Um sorry to burst your bubble but Sirius you're not alive when he has his wedding or is Dad-James

Struttingprongs: Just a second there did he say dad. I'm a father cool.

Midnight: Dumb ass. And Remus there's no way to avoid you having a kid. So you might as well get used to the idea. All the men in here besides George are dumb asses.

Padfootwalking: I am not a dumb ass.

Struttingprongs: I am not the dumb ass you are. Bitch.

Midnight: Thanks I know I'm a bitch.

Wolfiemoony: Do you really have to call me a dumb ass I'm the smartest in our year.

Frankielongtail: I'm trying to be an Auror and Aurors aren't dumb.

Snapieboy: Do you really want to push me.

Ratiepeter: I'm not an ass.

Regseek4life: I'm a Black. Blacks aren't dumb.

Thechosenseeker: I should slap you next time I see you.

Theredhead: Do you always have to call me a dumb ass.

Fredieboy: Hey I'm your husbands twin.

Evilmalfoy: Stop calling me dumb ass.

Midnight: First Moony you're a dumb ass because you don't want a family when you are very happy with my cousin and her pregnant self. Second Frank I know you are smart but that doesn't mean you aren't a dumb ass. Third Snape I am sure I want to push you now be quite or I'll tell everyone whom you love. Forth Peter you're a rat and a fucking jackass so shut up. Fifth Regulus Blacks aren't dumb your right about that. Sixth Harry if you slap me I fucking kill your mother fucking ass. Seventh Ron yes I do have to call you dumb ass. Eighth Fred I know that but still. Ninth Draco you're a fag so what?

Struttingprongs: So you know who he likes too. Tell us. Please?

Midnight: Only if he pisses me off.

Snapieboy: In other words she doesn't know the bitch.

Midnight: That's it he loves Lily Marie Evans-Potter.

Snapieboy: Shit.

Regseek4life: Fuck she knows.

Struttingprongs: He likes me well fuck how come I never noticed. He likes you I should have know what with him saying you two where friends.

Midnight: Now what do you have to say for yourself Snape? And just for your information you told me that so uh-un ha-ha-ha. And thanks I am a bitch.

Snapieboy: I should hurt you.

Midnight: Yeah and I'm Prema-Madonna and the Queen of England to.

Thechosenseeker: That's disgusting he liked my mum.

Midnight: Actually he still loves her. Why do you think he hates you so much Harry, you are the one thing that reminds him of what he could never have. The only thing he wanted was gone and you have her eyes and he remembers that.

Thechosenseeker: Well shit.

Midnight: Harry don't use that bad word in front of your mum it's bad manners.

Struttingprongs: Well fuck now that I know Snape likes me is there anything else I should know.

Padfootwalking: I told you Lily. And I think we need to ask him a question.

Struttingprongs: And just what question is that Lynn?

Padfootwalking: How long he loved you.

Struttingprongs: You ask Lynn.

Midnight: Oh for Merlin's sake. He loved her ever since he first laid eyes on her when he was around 9 or 10.

* * *

Chapter 6 Someone spoils a good mood

Tigerlily: Hey everyone.

Struttingprongs: Mum if that's you I don't appreciate this get off my computer.

Tigerlily: What in the world are you talking about I'm Lily Marie Evans.

Struttingprongs: Tuney get off my computer. NOW!!

Tigerlily: Now whomever you are I don't like that you are saying I'm this Tuney person. I am not a tune. I am Lily Marie Evans. And the real Lily wouldn't lie to all of you.

Struttingprongs: James tell her I'm the real Lily and that is you Petunia. This is the real Lily trust me I'd know her anywhere. That and she's sitting on my lap so yeah this is defiantly Lily here and not there. Plus I saw her sister walk in her house a little while ago. Do you know how much I hate your spying? A lot? A lot. Okay then. Now Tuney get off my computer or I'll tell mum.

Tigerlily: You suck Lily I hope you get pregnant and mum and dad disown you.

Struttingprongs: Ya know what Petunia I hope I do to. Uh Lily that's not going to happen anytime soon. Yes it will, you know it will. Uh Sirius help.

Padfootwalking: Sorry dude can't help you. Oh shush Sirius, James all you have to do is use protection. You can still have sex with her.

Regseek4life: Oh disgusting you had to mention sex didn't you Lily? Now I got to go and close his door.

Tigerlily: You deserve to have a mangy kid. And if anything goes down hill with you, don't come crying to me. I won't help you.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT Tigerlily HAS LEFT THE ROOM

Struttingprongs: And good riddance. Hey don't listen to her Lily. I'm not. Then why are you-. Say another word James Anthony Potter and I will kill you. Yes ma'am.

Padfootwalking: Lily don't listen to her ya know why she's acting this way…because she's jealous of you and James okay. Because she doesn't have that kinda relationship with the fat whale of a fiancé that she has okay.

Struttingprongs: Guys I'm okay with that okay I don't need to listen to her because I already knew that she was going to say something bad okay I'm fine. Lily? What James? Why are you- Shut up James. Yes ma'am.

Midnight: Did she leave yet. Merlin I can't stand her. Harry how do you put up with her every day of your Merlin damned life? God and Lily stop crying on James's shoulder it's not your fault you have a mangy kid. He was all right until he went to go live with her.

Thechosenseeker: Hey I'm not mangy.

Midnight: Yes you are mangy. You are fucking ass mother fucker who wouldn't know his way out of a paper bag even if you had directions.

Thechosenseeker: Then your mangy too and I do know my way out of a paper bag you look up.

Midnight: I'm not mangy you asshole okay you are, and you don't find your way out of a paper bag by looking up you go to the side of it and tear it up, thus freeing yourself.

Struttingprongs: Will you two shut up you act like a old married couple. Yeah and Lily? Yeah James? There's tissues over there so you don't have to wipe you nose on my shirt. I am not wiping my nose on you shirt. Yes you are. You can't prove it. Yes I can. How then. The wet marks from my shoulders to the middle of my chest. Damn it.

Midnight: Oh and you complain that me and Harry are an old married couple which by the way is never going to happen because me and George are married, and Harry and Ginny are engaged.

* * *

Chapter 7

Struttingprongs: What that's disgusting. Wait your married?

Midnight: Yep and expecting and I'm only 17 hahahahahaha.

Georgieboy: Hayley did you have to release that bit of information?

Midnight: Yes now shut up deary.

Sunlight: What your what!!

Moonlight: Why in the hell would now tell us that?

Daylight: I'm going to be an aunt hahahahahaha, I'm going to be an aunt. Goody.

Midnight: Well Sunlight/Kayley aren't you going to tell us what happened this summer? You got married too.

Sunlight: How in the hell do you know about that?

Evilmalfoy: She knows everything to try and keep something from her would be suicidal.

Midnight: He is right you know so when's the baby due?

Sunlight: I'm what?!

Evilmalfoy: We haven't had sex in 4 weeks how can she be pregnant, and more importantly how do you know when we didn't.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT Starlight, FleuroftheGarden, and MoonSelene HAVE ENTERED THE ROOM

Midnight: Well as you said I know everything Draco. And Ginny and Hermione and Dora and Fleur and Luna are also pregnant. So go and cry about it later.

FleuroftheGarden: What in the hell are you talking about. We haven't had sex in a while Hayley. Yes Bill is right Hayley dear we have not.

MoonSelene: But Hayley dear I have not had sex yet in my life.

Moonlight: What in the hell Ro-my boyfriend and I haven't had sex in what a while.

Daylight: What Harry you dufus you said you had used protection!!

Starlight: Everyone knows about me Hayley already so can you slow down the telling everybody that.

Midnight: Well Kayley, Draco in four weeks you can figure out if your pregnant or not you know. Fleur how long has it been same with Hermione. Luna remember that time we where playing truth or dare with the guys. Well we sortta got you and Neville drunk and you left together wasted and I guess had sex so your not a virgin anymore anyway. Oh great Ginny you've been having sex with that thing I thought that was a one night stand. And Dora I will never slow down on how my cousin is expecting my Godfather's Remus's kid hahahahahaha.

Daylight: It was a one night stand.

FleuroftheGarden: Uhh approcimently 3 to 4 weeks.

Moonlight: About 5 weeks. And that was only a bet if you remember. You bet me to have sex with him.

Sunlight: Shit well Draco go and buy me a Pregnancy test you know one of the Muggle one's.

Evilmalfoy: Fine I'll be back.

THE MARAUDERS CHAT ROOM ALERT Evilmalfoy HAS LEFT THE ROOM

Midnight: Well Fleur, Hermione, it only take sperm 24 hours to pollinate a girl's uterus. And right now you have little 5-8 in. fetus's in your uterus so go cry somewhere else. Hermione it may have been a bet but you didn't fight, and you two are dating now are you not. Eww Ginny please tell me that you are not engaged to the thing and had a one night stand with him.

Daylight: That's right Hayley. It was supposed to be our only time together until the wedding now I have to get married sooner then we planned because somebody impregnated me.

Moonlight: So? That doesn't mean anything.

Midnight: Yes it does. It means your pregnant and your not married. What will your parents think? Maybe that you're a whore?Moonlight: Shut up Hayley!

Struttingprongs: How did we get on this subject?


End file.
